Coincidence? I think not.

I don’t believe in coincidence. I think that word is either used because A) the introspective person uses it as an all-encompassing word instead of trying to explain how everything is connected… or, B) the person using it has an inability to see or acknowledge that everything is connected. Have you heard of the “butterfly effect”? No, not the movie (but sort of…)

Choices you make today can cause ripples throughout your life (and other people's lives, really). Whether that choice is a good choice or a bad choice, it can alter everything. Yes, even eating that burrito at lunch can alter your life… remember Adam and Eve? Food choices can get crazy.

The things you do impact the course of your life (aka, Life Course Theory). I cannot sit here today and say I ended up where I am based on coincidence.

A brief connective timeline:

• Grew up in a single parent home, saw the struggle.

• Grew up in a home with an abusive stepdad, lived the struggle.

• Went to a new church, met my first real best-friend, she broke me out of my shell.

• Joined the Army, met my second best-friend, she challenged me to be confident and her family is my family. I wouldn’t have that, had I not joined the Army at the exact moment I did.

• Started working for the local government, veteran’s preference points put me ahead of the game as I was still serving.

• Started school, chose behavioral and social sciences, sociology, and now social work – with the goal to incite change for other people who struggle.

• Funding for my first position was cut, I was sent to child welfare, met my third best-friend, she helped me become the best version of me and helped me to accept “life events” as a motivator.

• Went to a college-group function with the church I attended, which was a joint function with another church… started going to that other church, where I found myself in leadership roles, which wouldn’t have happened without the urging of best friend #1.

• Worked at child welfare for five years, solidified the desire to help families in need.

• Got promoted into a different department, with coworkers from my first department.

• Got promoted again in that department, which allowed me to gain connections around the county, city, and other agency networks. That confidence probably wouldn’t have grown as strong without the encouragement of best friend #2.

• Got promoted into a different department, which allowed me to work with coworkers from child welfare, and has provided a wealth of knowledge and support for the social work program.

• Each department has shown me different areas of need within the community, and each connection has created a personal network at my fingertips.

• Through the leadership role at my church, I met new friends. I had a connection to those friends because of the automatic military bond (we’re all family). Those friends invited me to a birthday event, which is where I met my significant other. Had it not been for best friend #3, I probably wouldn’t have embraced a new relationship, but we had recently returned from a vacation together where she helped me become “me” again.

Each event has trickled into others – whether immediately or not. When you stop and think of the overlaps and why you are where you are… you’ll begin to realize that “coincidence” is a cop-out. I firmly believe that every choice I’ve made, to not fall into the struggle, but instead help others rise, has been that little stirring voice guiding me. I firmly believe that every mishap or mistake I’ve ever made has helped me correct another elsewhere. I don’t believe that God makes mistakes or misdirects me, and I would be blind to say that my strength, resiliency, drive, or the outcomes of my life course thus far are coincidental. What has impacted my life has allowed me to impact others. Think of the oak tree, it began as an acorn. Nothing is a true coincidence.

I can’t imagine where life would be, had I decided to become a victim at the first two bullet points…