Year two. Semester one. I can’t seem to get a good handle on organization. It’s about “mid-term” season, which we don’t really have in the Master’s program, and I still can’t get a grasp on what’s due or when it’s due. I don’t know what changed from last year to now, but I can’t seem to wrap my brain around the semester. I’ve found myself in more writer’s block than normal, and less motivation. Not that I’ve lost my motivation, it’s just slowed down.
I did however, receive a motivating compliment from one of my professors who told me that I was essentially on the right track with my macro-minded thesis idea. Sometimes you get these ideas that seem so large or unattainable, but having someone confirm that your idea is not grandiose or out of reach, really accelerates your thinking. I went from 100% writer’s block to having the first page written in 20 minutes.
I’ve also had some great success in advocacy within my internship, which has been encouraging. This year’s internship is hands-down a great experience. Not to say that my internship last year wasn’t a great experience, but I have more passion in the field I’m currently in. I feel less of a cog and more of an innovator, thinker, and doer. I enjoy looking into the inner-workings of bureaucracy on campus and seeing how we can make things more accessible for students – especially in the realm of students’ basic needs. I am excited to see how the rest of this year unfolds for the internship and am hoping to carry some of that high energy over into my studies.
I have class tonight, and I’m not looking forward to the role-plays we’re forced to do. It’s simply not how I learn, nor is it how I understand concepts as I don’t practice conversations with clients or people I work with. Role plays are incredibly uncomfortable, not because they’re “stretching us” as students, but because they’re not realistic. My previous internship wasted weeks of various role plays and not one scenario in the role plays actually happened. As a student, a learner paying a stupid amount of money, and person interested in macro-level social work: I wish we could ban in-class role plays. They’re not inclusive. They assume we’re all intending to work in the field of reactive social work in an agency or in private practice, when some of us are never going to do that. So unfortunately, I’m not looking forward to school tonight and already see myself checked out of class. Perhaps that’s part of my lack of motivation… Insert thinking face emoji.
